I'll Ride With You

The Sydney Siege of 15/16 December 2014 has certainly shaken this part of the world down under.  The loss of life is very tragic and families and friends have had their lives impacted forever.  These precious people will carry the battle scars of life and it will be part of their story that will be told from generation to generation.

All the hostages caught up in the siege, are heroes.  My thoughts and prayers are with you as you try and cope with the reality of this unforgettable tragic event.  May God give you the grace everyday to cope, as you walk the path that has been set before you.  

Special mention must be made of the two amazing young people who sacrificed their own lives to save others.  True modern days heroes, Tori Jonson and Katrina Dawson.  They sacrificed, so that others could live.  Our thoughts are with their families at this time.  May you know the peace, which only God can give during this time of grieving and mourning. 

Even though this situation has been tough and tragic for the families,  we will never fully understand and comprehend what has happened but I know something good will emerge.  I believe we have seen snippets of it already.  The heroic acts have truly touched our hearts and when I read and heard the story behind the "I'll ride with you" expression, I was truly moved by the kindness of people.

What sparked this situation? Rachael Jacobs, who said she'd seen a woman she presumed was Muslim silently removing her hijab while sitting next to her on the train: "I ran after her at the train station. I said 'put it back on. I'll walk with u'. She started to cry and hugged me for about a minute - then walked off alone'.


This evoked a series of tweets e.g."If you reg take the #373 bus b/w Coogee/MartinPl, wear religious attire, & don’t feel safe alone: I’ll ride with you. @ me for schedule."


A Twitter movement, #illridewithyou, has sprouted with everyday Australians offering to ride on buses and trains with Muslims or give them a lift to work in order to keep them safe.


This is what life should be about.  Showing acts of kindness.  Loving, caring and protecting one another.  This is what the world should be reporting on.  Come on reporters around the world, let us see your TV stations report acts of kindness e.g.:  "Breaking News - people are caring, protecting and supporting one another."

John 15:13 

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends."

1 Corinthans 13:13 

 "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

Tweet

Share

It's First The Wind, Then the Waves

In Mark Chapter 4, we read the story of Jesus crossing the lake in a boat with His disciples.  In verse 37, we read “and a great storm arose, the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling.”

Sometimes we embark upon a journey in life, which we believe Jesus is leading and guiding. Yes, He is with us all the time but many times we encounter ‘suddenly moments’ when our world changes inthe twinkling of an eye. It is like we are being battered and bruised by life’s storms and our world begins to‘fill up’ with what’s happening around us and to us.  It is overwhelming and sometimes we don’t know which way to turn.

A key question to ask yourself: “Is Jesus asleep in our boat or is He awake?”  Through all our encounters in life we sometimes, if not all the time, exclude Jesus from our day to day living.  The result is that he metaphorically ‘falls asleep’ and often, we wait until our next crisis to ‘wake him up’.  Our humanistic response is “Jesus, don’t you care about me” and/or  “If this continues, we will surely die”.

When we turn to Jesus something happens.  In Mark Chapter 4, Jesus stood up in the boat and rebuked the wind and said to the sea “… Peace be still!  And the wind ceased, and there was great calm”.  Jesus first rebuked the wind  - the unseen (spiritual) and then the sea - the seen (natural).  

In our own lives, breakthrough needs to happen in the spirit realm, before we feel the effects in the natural.  First the wind, then the waves.

The reality is Jesus wants to be involved in every area of your life. In fact, He is more concerned about your success than you are. Make sure Jesus is awake in your life on a daily basis and include Him in everything that you say and do.

 First the wind, then the waves !

Tweet

Share

We Are Rowing To Melbourne

Equal Sacrifice, Not Equal Giving!

Our monthly Heart for the Nations offering is a sacrificial offering we bring collectively over and above our tithes and offerings at Every Nation Christchurch. The purpose is to expand the mission, vision, and reach of Every Nation Christchurch and maximize the opportunities God has put before us, ultimately to make Jesus known.

Brent Archer, a great friend of mine for years, approached me a few weeks back and said, “Let’s row to Melbourne and raise finances for our missions to Melbourne fund”. Look, I’m all for reinventing myself and accepting challenges but lets be honest, I’m no Mahe Drysdale (New Zealand rowing Gold Medalist). My initial response was that he was crazy and ridiculous. I couldn’t even row in the bathtub.

Light bulb moment; Sacrifice over convenience, purpose over process, two birds with one stone. Yes, we are in fact rowing to Melbourne. The challenge has been accepted, however, we will be ‘virtually’ crossing the Tasman Sea using rowing machines. Wisdom Prevails!

Distance from the West Coast of New Zealand to Melbourne, Australia = 2,279km.  Our combined rowing totals will get us to Melbourne.

Follow our progress.

How can you be apart of this exciting adventure and support Every Nation Melbourne through this fundraiser?

1.  Become one of our financial sponsors.  

     

     Account details:  Every Nation Christchurch, 06-0831-0126421-06, Swift Code

     ANZBNZ22797, Reference – Rowing to Melbourne
   
    or use the DONATE button to the right of the screen.

    

2.  Pray for Every Nation Melbourne Church

3.  Take up the challenge yourself.  Find a partner and row, run or walk to Melbourne. 

     Record your distance daily.  Enjoy and have fun.  Email me if you are taken up the 
     challenge.

Vision gives pain purpose.

Tweet

Share

Reminders

What a stunning and beautiful day in Christchurch.  The sun shining brightly,  clear skies and the temperature perfect for a morning walk on Sumner beach.  With my iPhone in my pocket and earphones in my ears, music turned to maximum, I commenced my morning walk.  So peaceful and amazing to be in His presence as I walked along the water's edge.

It wasn't long before I looked to my left and saw this.

This picture is a reminder to all the people living in Christchurch of the devastating earthquake on 22 February 2011 @ 12h51 where 182 people lost their lives and thousands and thousands of homes damaged.  Seeing the devastation always brings a tear to my eyes.  My eyes begin to sweat.  I began to thank God for His hand upon our lives.

We all carry the 'battle scars'  of life.  The 'battle scars' are reminders of God grace and His mercy. They are reminders of His saving grace and His healing power.  They are reminders of where you once were and where you are today.  Praise God

For me personal, I thank God for calling me out of spiritual darkness and into His glorious light.

As we look at our "battle scars", our reminders, let us be thankful and grateful for God 's continued grace and mercy upon of lives.  Thank you Jesus

#promised promises    #bwlife

Tweet

Share

Let's Get Practical - Don't Judge

It is so important that as parents we are consistent in our parenting in making a difference in our children's lives.  Creating and maintaining a culture of unconditional love and allowing them to always feel safe and loved, is very important in your home.

I want to share another practical tip for you that I have entitled: "Don't Judge".  

The natural human tendency in all is us to to judge and find fault with people.  It, therefore, takes a conscious effort not to cultivate this judgemental attitude when raising our children. 

In fact, a judgemental attitude toward your children will inevitably produce undesirable behaviours/characteristics. These behaviours become entrenched in the lives of your children, which may be difficult to break free from in later years.

Here are a few undesirable behaviours/characteristics that result from this kind of parenting.

• Children become like their parents and this judgemental cycle continues through generations.  Parents should be the role models to their children.  Don't tell, show! 
• Children become fearful to attempt anything.   Knowing they're will receive the wrath of judgement from their parents inhibits one to act. 
• Children don't feel safe and often become withdrawn.  It's safer in their bedroom than to be around mom and dad. 
• Children begin to build walls around them in order to protect themselves. 
• It becomes extremely difficult for children to be open, honest and/or transparent with mom and dad. As a result, their personal challenges are often bottled up which could lead to depression etc.

My wife (Colleen) and I tried to create a loving, safe and encouraging environment at home where the children could freely engage in conversation knowing that they wouldn't be judged.  We tried to create a home characterised by realness and transparency, with a fun and positive environment.  It was about helping each other to the next level. Rather than an environment of pulling them down or making them feel guilty about their actions. I often hear the following words from parents "John, your life will never amount to anything. You are a dumb and stupid boy.  Get out of here."  How does that make you feel just reading it!  

Words have power.

Let's get practical.  Here are a few suggestions.

1.  Choose your words wisely. Choose words that build your children up. Words carry life.

2.  Don't react to your children. Your need to respond. Take a deeeeep breath. Lift your head high. Take a another deep breath and then respond appropriately with words that will add value.

3.  Create a safe environment with your words that children can feel safe to speak knowing that they won't be judged.

4.  Allow your children the opportunity to speak. Ask questions. Don't give them the answer before they have told you everything. Sometimes your opinion is not needed. Allow them the space to share things with you. Be a great listener.

Be consistent in your actions and words to create 

an environment of love and encouragement.

Tweet

Share

Let's Get Practical - Unconditional Love

One of the greatest gifts you can shower your children with is unconditional love.

The opposite of unconditional love, is 'conditional love'.  I cringe every time I hear a mom or dad say the following to their son or daughter, 'Paul, if you don't stop crying mommy won't love you anymore!' or 'Mary, if you don't tidy your room dad won't love you anymore!'  Words have power and will make an impact on your children's lives.  It is controlling and manipulative, and it makes your love based on conditions/performance. Actions and behaviour become the determinant of love.

Thus, it is so important to create an environment of unconditional love.  Children need to feel secure in their parents' love no matter their imperfections, shortcomings, disobedience and/or immaturity.

My wife (Colleen) and I tried our utmost to create a loving environment where our children felt safe and loved. We didn't love them based on what they did for us and/or because they were well behaved. We loved them unconditionally because they were our precious gifts - our beautiful children that have been entrusted to us, by God, to parent for a season.

What did we do?  How did we cultivate an environment of 'unconditional love'?  Here are five practical steps to help you show unconditional love.

TIME

Colleen and I purposely spent time with our children.  We wanted them to feel important and special. It wasn't about getting the job done.  As parents we had to sacrifice our personal agenda and what we wanted/needed to do, in order to spend time with our children.  Do something practical with your time.  Ask questions.  Play a game.  Do a puzzle.  Read a book.  Rough and tumble with your boys. We tried to find practical ways of making time with the kids count.

WORDS

Every person in the world desires to hear the following words 'I love you'.  It's important to understand that children/teenagers are not mind-readers.  They need to hear those words on a DAILY basis.  We wanted to ensure that our children knew without a shadow of doubt that mom and dad love them very much.  We didn't want them to ever doubt our love for them.  Even to this day, we tell our adult children that we love them.  No matter where they are in the world, what season of life they're in we still express of love to them.  An important way to express your love for your children is by using the following words "I love you".

TOUCH

This is a practical expression of your love for your children.  Colleen and I expressed our love for our children not only in words, but also through actions: using physical touch.  A hug, quick cuddle, high five and/or kiss on the cheek speaks volumes.  Sitting on the couch watching a TV programme, snuggling with your children and/or watching sport or their favourite programme conveys something special to them.  I am aware that people around the world have crossed the line with 'touch', but that doesn't mean it is wrong.  Even as teenagers, physical is a necessity.  If they don't get it from their parents, they will look elsewhere for it.

ACCEPT

Accept your children/teenagers as an individual with their own unique talents, gifts, strengths and weaknesses. With our three children, we soon began to realise that they were so different. We knew we couldn't change them or use a one-size fits all approach.  For Colleen and myself, we appreciated and valued their differences, and looked for opportunities to nurture and encourage them in their differences. An environment of encouragement and love was a hallmark of our home. When mistakes were made, we encouraged them to pick themselves up, learn the lessons that needed to be learnt, and to move forward in life.

Try the following this week:

1.  Do something special with each one of your children this week.

2. Tell your child daily that you love him/her.  Send them a text message or leave a note on their pillow.

3.  Give your child a hug every day.  

4.  Find the 'good' in your child and encourage him/her daily.

Be consistent in showing unconditional love to your children.

Tweet

Share

Let's Get Practical - Introduction

During the past summer, my wife (Colleen) and I had the privilege of attending our son James and daughter Sians' weddings in Cape Town, South Africa.  What a glorious time of celebration and rejoicing as we witnessed our two amazing, talented and gifted children say 'I do'. Making a commitment to their respective spouses to love, honour and cherish them until 'death do us part'.

As a dad, my greatest honour was to walk Sian down the aisle, and then officiate the wedding. It truly was a 'wow' and  a very special moment that I will always treasure in my life.

James and Robyn (Payne) Wewege
Married:  29 December 2013

With three wonderful and amazing children, but by no means perfect, Colleen and I often receive the following praise from people we meet; "you are so lucky you have three wonderful, talented and well-behaved children'.

Whenever we receive feedback like that, I say to them,  "Please look me in the eye. This is NOT LUCK. You cannot buy ready made adults or teenagers from the local supermarket that are already perfect. What you see is a result of blood, sweat, tears, love, encouragement, discipline and prayer". What a mouthful!  But its true.  Parenting is hard work.  It's not for the faint-hearted.

Junior and Sian (Wewege) Fesola'i
18 January 2014

Colleen and I are by no means perfect parents, experts in this field or authors of a number of books on the subject, but ... we did do something right!  My passion is to share some insights to help you in your parenting.  To help you develop a 'I can do it' attitude with your teenagers, so that you will be able to experience and truly love the precious gifts that have been entrusted to you.

Over the next ten weeks, I want to share via my blog 10 practical steps that you can use to help you parent your teenagers.  They will be manageable steps.  Something simple that could be life changing. Practical so that you can experience and witness the change.

If you keep doing the same thing you will experience the same result.  If you want a different result, you must try something different.

From next week, I will commence with the first practical step in a ten week series called "Lets Get Practical" 

Let's Get Practical !

Tweet

Share