WILL YOU - Be My Valentine

I have so enjoyed preparing for this series "Will You".   Read the summary of the first message entitled Will You Be My Friend as this lays a foundation to the message Will You Be My Valentine.

Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord.

What a powerful verse.  It gives us some insights into friendships and relationships. It says that he (male) must find a wife (female) which results in favour from God.  Men are suppose to take the role of a hunter and go and find, look for or pursue a lady that he will eventually take as his wife.  If he is the hunter, then the lady is the hunted.  In other words, women need to take every opportunity to release the fragrance of who they are around the hunters.  This is not only their outer beauty, but the most important is their inner beauty.

The key question for Christian men is 'where must I hunt? and for Christian women is 'where do I need to place myself to be hunted?'  As Christians, we need to find someone of the same faith.  Someone who truly loves Jesus with all his/her heart, soul and mind.  Someone who is fully committed to Jesus Christ and is involved in a local church.

As you develop friendships along the friendship funnel, investing time and effort in deepening these friendships, here are some questions that are worth discussing with someone you are 'hunting' or being 'hunted'.

FIVE DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. This is the most important to discuss.  Your relationship with Jesus Christ.  What you believe in?  Church commitment and involvement.  Has he or she been discipled? Will he be able to lead me spiritually?  Does he/she truly embrace Matthew 6:33 which says "Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you."?

2. Visions, dreams, goals and callings.  What do you want out of life?  What are your values?  Are we going in the same direction?  Are our callings so different that it will drive a wedge in our future marriage?

3. Cultural.  With the migration of people around the world, the chances of you marrying someone that is different culturally, is on the increase.  The key is to communicate and try to bring understanding on these differences.  

4. Intellectual.  Are you able to engage someone intellectually?  Some men pursue women because of their external beauty only to discover and sometimes too late that they cannot engage each other in any form of conversation.  Likewise with some woman, they fall for a man to the right body with all the abs in the right place, to discover that the only words he knows is yes and no.  Very sad, but that is reality.  Are they able to discuss and have a conversation with you.

5. Financial. Are you able to work with money?  Budgeting, saving and living within your means.  Be aware of potential problems if one party comes from extreme wealth or poverty.  It could be a potential conflict area in a marriage.

Courtship/Bridge of Preparation

The time will come when he will ask you "Will You Be My Valentine".  This period is about courtship.  As you enter this period, your goal is marriage.  I love to call it the bridge of preparation,  when you prepare for your great and special day called 'wedding'.

This period can be a real challenge for couples as they prepare for their special day.  The challenge is the physical side of their relationship.  The Bible gives us clear guidelines on how to conduct ourselves during the period of preparation.

Read 1 Thessalonians 4: 1-8

Remember the following phrase, 'structure drives behaviour'.  In Thessalonians, Paul provides us with a structure that should drive our behaviour during this bridge of preparation season.

1.  Live a life pleasing to God

2.  Avoid sexual immorality

3.  God's Word is the final authority.  Don't argue with it or change or manipulate it.

4.  Learn self-control

5.  Lust is wrong

6.  Don't defraud someone

I often get asked by couples in this season of preparation, 'How far can we go?'

1 Peter 5:2 says treat older woman as mothers, younger woman as sisters, with all purity.

In other words, how far would you go with your brother or sister?  

Don't light the fire.  When the fire begins to burn, it is very difficult to put out.  If you are currently involved in sexual immorality, the word for you is STOP IT.  HUMINTO (Filipino).  Keep yourself pure for the special day when you say, 'I do' to your best friend.

I can offer you a box of chocolates or a bunch of flowers, but the best gift I can give you is to offer you a nail.  Jesus Christ suffered and died for you. He was nailed to the cross, He died in our places and our sins were placed on Him.   Jesus is asking each one of you 'will you be His Valentine?'  Jesus is coming back to fetch His bride and there will be a marriage between Jesus and His Church the bride.  Praise God.

Jesus is asking, "Will you be My valentine?"

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